Friday, 4 August 2017

It's Always Been You, Blog.

When I was getting ready this morning I came to quite a large realization.
I was pondering what content I wanted to work on, what posts I'd like to write and the goals I hope to achieve, when it hit me...
I don't want to make videos.
You may or may not know that I occasionally make YouTube videos. At one time I was becoming rather regular with my uploads and it was my blog that was on the neglected back-burner.
Well I realized this morning that I no longer enjoy making videos.
It feels like it isn't for me right now. It doesn't fit in with who I am in my life at this time.
I've decided to take a break. A break that has no time limit. If I flow back to it I flow back to it, but for now, you'll find me right here.

In my darkest days, I was blogging.
- it may not have been very public, but i was blogging nonetheless xD
Writing feels like an outlet for me. I find my thoughts much easier to handle when they're written out in bite sized chunks.
Blogging has always been there for me. A place to turn to when I don't know what's going on.
Somewhere that feels safe and comforting.
It kind of feels like I write open letters to myself that I can read back time and time again if I so choose, with the added bonus of hopefully helping someone along the way.
I write about my experiences with my mental health, life and now at times, my physical well being. All of which provide me with a fire in my belly like no other.
I also write about all the things that make me happy.
Whether it's talking about my favourite brushes, new palettes, music that touches my soul or makeup looks I've been loving.

Coming to this decision felt like the easiest thing in the world, which indicates to me that I'm making the right choice.
It also fills me with an unbelievable feeling of pride and achievement because I have listened to what I was feeling and have eliminated something that wasn't feeling quite right.
And the best part is that I did it because I wanted to help myself.
I cannot remember a time where I have done that. I usually run towards things that will bring me pain.
I am slowly but surely learning that, for me, self care isn't all about painting my nails, it's about hearing what I am thinking and feeling and choosing to look after myself.

By removing the pressures I put on myself to be able to blog and make videos, I am freeing up so much time and energy to fully focus on my blog.
I couldn't be happier :)

It truly feels like this is my little corner of the world where I can just be myself.
No pressure, no filtering, no added sugar, not watered down. Just me :)
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